How to build relationships (and love!)

22nd September 2020

Building good relationships is essential.

But it’s hard to find time to do it.

Luckily, there are only two steps:

  1. KNOW
  2. OWE

So, people like us most when they:

  1. KNOW us – they speak with us often enough
  2. OWE us, because we’ve been so useful that they feel in our debt (the Reciprocity Rule: when we give to others, they tend to want to give back)

So, for your main relationships, do they:

  1. KNOW you enough? Do you speak as often as you should? Do you call them “out of the blue” rather than needing a reason? Are you front-of-mind with them?
  2. And do you always give something useful, so they OWE you? Do you show interest in their priorities? Teach them insights they can use? Intro them to good people? Do they always think “I’m glad I spoke to you – that was helpful”?

We all know this is important. But we also know it’s hard to find time to do it with all our key contacts.

But there’s an easy fix. Which is…

Action Point

Schedule regular “relationship-building” slots in your diary – say 30 minutes per week. Every time you get to this diary entry, contact 1-2 people (so they KNOW you more) and give something valuable (so they OWE you).

It won’t take long. Only 30 minutes. But they’ll KNOW and OWE you more. And better relationships = better outcomes for you both.

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