Influencing technique #3 – asking for people’s advice

12th February 2019

People are wedded to things they’ve come up with. But not to the things you have.

So, a great influencing technique is to ask their advice.

Because, once they’ve given it, they’re much more likely to agree with it!

So, imagine you’re meeting someone, you could end with “how do you ADVISE we progress things?”

If they suggest something you’re happy with, great – influencing complete!

But If they say something you hadn’t thought of, say “that’s a good idea. Why do you suggest that?” and hear their reasoning.

If you like their reasoning, great – influencing complete!

But if you think there’s a better way, you could say “yes, we could do that. One thought I’d also had was X. What do you think of that?”

And, because you’ve already listened to them, they’re much more likely to listen to you.

This is a good technique for at home too. So, if your teenager always has their head buried in a screen, ask a question like “it’s a good idea for us to have some family face-to-face time together. When would you ADVISE we do this?”

Once they say “breakfast”, they’re more likely to put their phone down at breakfast! (and if they don’t suggest it, you’ve no chance of them doing it!)

Action Point

Give yourself some advice! Of everyone you’re influencing today, who’ll respond best to this technique?

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