The most important thing is to know your most important thing

4th June 2013

I was once on the receiving end of a sales pitch from a timeshare salesman. He was very nice, asking all the usual good questions about my family and whether we had enough quality time together etc etc. But, despite his caring words, it was clear that his underlying driver wasn’t my wellbeing. It was “can I make the sale?”

I also recently went into a mobile phone shop, where the shop assistant explained all the intricacies of some of their phones, without really asking what I wanted. Again, it was clear that I wasn’t his main driver. He was more interested in the phone than me.

You see, what people think on their inside often is what they transmit on their outside. These two gents were clearly thinking “sell more” and “technology is great”.

So, when you speak to others, what words do people think are going through your head? Is it…

“My agenda’s best” or “let’s align agendas?”

“Don’t disagree” or “what are your views?”

“Just do it” or “let’s discuss it?”

And, when you listen to others, do they think you’re thinking “I’m bored”; “you aren’t my priority” or “just hurry up”? Or “I’m interested”; “you’re important to me” or “please take your time”?

Your outside is a manifestation of your inside. What’s yours saying?

Action point

Next conversation, ask yourself:

  • What do I want them to think I’m thinking?
  • Am I thinking it?
  • If not, what can I change, so we’re more aligned?

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