Your bank account:
Your balance goes up/down when money goes in/out. You can withdraw more than you invest. But you can’t keep doing so. And some withdrawals are so big, you’re financially ruined.
In Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, he likens relationships to an Emotional Bank Account, in that:
Your balance goes up/down when you/they do things to help the other. You can withdraw more than you invest. But you can’t keep doing so. And some withdrawals are so big, your relationship is ruined.
So to improve relationships:
- We must proactively and regularly invest in relationships, by thinking and doing things the other person likes
- If we keep investing but they don’t, we’ll think it’s unfair. We’ll stop trying
- But if they keep investing and we don’t, they’ll think it’s unfair. They’ll stop trying
- We have many ways to give a huge ‘cash injection’ – we should do these
- There are ‘withdrawals’ that are so big – breaking our promises, letting them down – that our account will never recover
Which means we should…
Action Point
- Identify our most critical relationships
- Ask ourselves whether we’re in credit, debit or neutral
- Invest, to add more value
- Avoid the big no-nos