Imagine you go on holiday this weekend. To somewhere you haven’t been before. But somewhere your friend has. You want to choose a good restaurant…
… you’d ask your friend for a recommendation, yes?
It’d be weird not to.
And doing so benefits everyone:
- You (the “customer”) gets a good restaurant
- Your friend (the “referrer”) knows they’ve helped you (and the restaurant they love so much!)
- The restaurant (the “supplier”) gets your business
So personal recommendations – sometimes called “referrals” – are a great thing. Because everyone benefits.
And it’s the same in business. If you want to work with my friend Jemima…
… yes, you could cold call her, stalk her on LinkedIn, etc. Or it’d be much better and quicker to ask me to introduce you to her.
And what’d be the best way to ask me, for this referral? Probably something like this:
- Andy, please can I ask your advice? (Yes, of course)
- I notice on LinkedIn that you’re connected to Jemima. I’d love to speak with her, because I think I can help her to (achieve something Jemima wants to achieve)
- But Andy, I don’t know her. And I don’t want to approach her cold – I’m sure she wouldn’t like that
- So Andy, how do you advise I approach her?
Such a charming way to ask! You aren’t even asking me to introduce you (I might not want to). Instead, you’re just asking for my “advice”
Even better: you’re asking for the intro because you can help her. You aren’t asking just so you alone benefit.
And, when you ask for my advice in this way, here’s how I’ll respond:
- “I’ll introduce you” – Great for you. You’ve got your referral
- “I advise you email her” – In which case you reply “Thanks for your advice. Please can I mention your name in that email?”
- “I don’t really know her”, or “I advise you don’t contact her”… both of which are ok too. Yes, you didn’t get the referral. But asking me hasn’t made things worse for you. You’ll just then try something else
And, to restate what we agreed above, good referrals benefit everyone:
- Jemima (the customer) – benefits from your brilliance
- Me (the referrer) – looks good to you and to her
- You (the supplier) – benefits from meeting Jemima
Final point: to ensure people think about recommending you… ask them to recommend you!
And the best way to do this? Ask for their advice.
Action Point
- Identify someone you’d like an introduction to
- Find someone who knows them
- Ask for the introduction using the script above – or something similar
- If anyone starts to feel uncomfortable (and this is very unlikely), immediately back away. There will be lots of other people who know Jemima!