When you speak to important people ("Top Dogs"), how you feel inside impacts how impressive you are on your outside.
For example, if you think they’re more important than you, you’ll be too deferential. You’ll say things like "Thanks for sparing the time to see me. I won’t take much of your time."
Or if you think you’re better at something than them, you may act like a persecutor ("You shouldn’t be doing it like that") or a rescuer ("Let me save you").
Of course, if you think neither of you is very good… that’s when you become a Dementor and suck the energy out of the room – "We’re all screwed."
But the Top Dog mentality is where you think you’re useful to each other. That you both have something to contribute. That you’re peers.
And, when you see yourself like this, you naturally begin to say the right things. So less "Thanks for your time" and more "I’ve been looking forward to our meeting – how are you?"
Top Dogs don’t want you to be deferential. They want you to be valuable.
How do you see yourself?
Action Point
With important people, identify which section you’re in. And if you aren’t Top Dog enough, identify how you can change what you say, so you instantly impress them.